Twas the Month after Chanukah...
'Twas the Month after Chanukah Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep. A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for it?" The little camel went to his mother and asked, "Mother, why do we camels have such big eyes?" A old snake goes to see his Doctor. Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "what is 1 and 1?" A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The do... A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on. she stopped in the hair salon and asked for a hair cut. she instructed that the hair stylist could not take off the headphones. A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool. The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 mi... One day, a blonde wife, roughly 25, wanted to prove to her husband that not all blondes were dumb. So she decided she was going to paint the house while he was at work. When her husband got home,he no... So many pedestrians, so little time. We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated. 10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address. Bill Gates dies and goes to hell. 99 little bugs in the code, 486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC. A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. A ventriloquist was driving through the midwest when his car broke down. He walked a ways and found a farmer who would let him use his phone. Well, the farmer seemed to be a real stereotypical rural t... There are 3 basic types of people in the world:
Twas the month after Chanukah, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibble, the latkas I'd taste
Sherlock Holmes
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful frien...
Cross-Eyed Dog
"Well," said the vet "let's have a look at him" The vet picks the dog up by the e...
Camel Questions
She looked on him lovingly and replied, "You see, my son, when we are walking in the dessert and the...
A snake's new glasses
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. <...
20 dollars
He says "Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me".
His friend says "Don't worry. Just tuck a twenty doll...
smart blonde
"Eleven," she replied.
The sheriff thought to ...
broken finder
blonde getting a haircut
the stylist...
blonde swimmer
painting blonde
bumber sticker
bumper sticker
10 signs your an Internet geek
9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"
Bill Gates in Hell
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your l...
99' little bugs in the code
99 bugs in the code,
fix one bug, compile it again,
101 little bugs in the code.
101 little bugs in the code,....
> (Repeat until BUGS =...
Computer Terminology
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for you...
airplane ride
"$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.
"That's too muc...
classic farmer joke
3 types of people
1. Those who can count.
2. Those who can't.
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