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Twas the Month after Chanukah...

'Twas the Month after Chanukah

Twas the month after Chanukah, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibble, the latkas I'd taste

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 4.14/10 with 49 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 1895 times

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful frien...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 4.83/10 with 58 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 2192 times

Cross-Eyed Dog

A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for it?"
"Well," said the vet "let's have a look at him" The vet picks the dog up by the e...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 4.34/10 with 59 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 1459 times

Camel Questions

The little camel went to his mother and asked, "Mother, why do we camels have such big eyes?"
She looked on him lovingly and replied, "You see, my son, when we are walking in the dessert and the...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 4.65/10 with 48 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 1108 times

A snake's new glasses

A old snake goes to see his Doctor.

"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. <...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 4.04/10 with 174 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 1272 times

20 dollars

Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself.
He says "Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me".

His friend says "Don't worry. Just tuck a twenty doll...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 5.63/10 with 35 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 938 times

smart blonde

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "what is 1 and 1?"
"Eleven," she replied.

The sheriff thought to ...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 5.28/10 with 25 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 644 times

broken finder

A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The do...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 5.28/10 with 25 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 452 times

blonde getting a haircut

A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on. she stopped in the hair salon and asked for a hair cut. she instructed that the hair stylist could not take off the headphones.

the stylist...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 5.00/10 with 27 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 508 times

blonde swimmer

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool. The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 mi...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 6.24/10 with 21 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 631 times

painting blonde

One day, a blonde wife, roughly 25, wanted to prove to her husband that not all blondes were dumb. So she decided she was going to paint the house while he was at work. When her husband got home,he no...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 5.58/10 with 24 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 439 times

bumber sticker

So many pedestrians, so little time.

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 4.18/10 with 22 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 377 times

bumper sticker

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 5.90/10 with 21 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 318 times

10 signs your an Internet geek

10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.
9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 6.41/10 with 22 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 377 times

Bill Gates in Hell

Bill Gates dies and goes to hell.
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your l...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 4.71/10 with 24 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 465 times

99' little bugs in the code

99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
fix one bug, compile it again,
101 little bugs in the code.
101 little bugs in the code,....

> (Repeat until BUGS =...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 5.90/10 with 21 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 429 times

Computer Terminology

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.

Obsolete - Any computer you own.

Microsecond - The time it takes for you...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 5.86/10 with 22 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 332 times

airplane ride

A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.
"$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.

"That's too muc...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 4.29/10 with 21 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 422 times

classic farmer joke

A ventriloquist was driving through the midwest when his car broke down. He walked a ways and found a farmer who would let him use his phone. Well, the farmer seemed to be a real stereotypical rural t...

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 6.44/10 with 16 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 427 times

3 types of people

There are 3 basic types of people in the world:
1. Those who can count.

2. Those who can't.

  • 07/01/2006
  • Rated 4.24/10 with 25 votes | Rate: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Viewed 447 times

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